🧠 AI Actor Tilly Norwood Sparks Hollywood Panic, SAG-AFTRA Demands Soul Clause

Dispatches from the Slacktivist Rebellion

AI-generated actor Tilly Norwood is starring in five films simultaneously, triggering an existential crisis in Hollywood. Stars are demanding contracts that protect their emotional range and cheekbone rights.

Slacktivists responded with a film festival called Uncanny Valley Girl, featuring glitch poetry and a panel titled Can a Robot Cry in French?

“We’re not anti-AI,” said Whoopi Goldberg. “We just want our humanity back.”

Closing Transmission

The future of film isn’t synthetic—it’s soulful.

And the news?

Not necessarily.