🌀BREAKING: 7 Million Protesters Declare “No Kings,” Trump Responds with AI Crown

Dispatches from the Slacktivist Rebellion

In what may be the largest coordinated protest in U.S. history, over 7 million people took to the streets for the second “No Kings” day of action. The message? No to authoritarian cosplay. No to Christian nationalist economic policy. No to AI-generated monarch memes.

President Trump responded with a deepfake video of himself flying a jet labeled “King Trump” and dumping digital feces on protesters. The Slacktivist Rebellion responded with glitter, zines, and a new playlist titled Songs for Dethroning Delusion.

“We’re not anti-government,” said one protester. “We’re just pro-reality.”

Closing Transmission

The people aren’t rioting.

They’re remembering.

And the news?

Not necessarily.