🌍"Earth Applies for Disability Benefits"

Dispatches from the Slacktivist Rebellion

Seven out of nine planetary life-support systems are now in crisis. The ocean is acidic, the Arctic is melting, and Earth has officially applied for disability benefits. Climate scientists warn that the planet may soon qualify for a galactic intervention.

“We’re not destroying the planet,” said one Slacktivist. “We’re just stress-testing it.”

In response, rebels are planting gardens, hosting climate grief circles, and launching a new zine titled Planetary Boundaries & Emotional Ones. “We’re not here to save the Earth,” said @EcoSpiral. “We’re here to listen to it.”

Closing Transmission

The Earth isn’t broken—it’s exhausted.

Let’s stop extracting and start exhaling.